Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize