if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
