He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
