Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
