Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
