if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We have started to decorate penises.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
