We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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