Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
