Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
