is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
