its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We left the knife in your bed.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
