I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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