Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
