There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
