you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
