its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
