her vagine was all disorganized.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
