So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
