Having a random hookup so left but love u
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he puts the penis in happiness.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
