I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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