He uses pillows to masturbate.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
