went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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