I just gift wrapped bread.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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