now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As shirtless as possible
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
