I want to make a zoo with you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
