Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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