did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
