im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
