i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
