You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
