i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
