let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
