i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she told me i tasted like america
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
