You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
