you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i permit you to call me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
