he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
