The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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