the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
