I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
