Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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