she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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