your parents love me but you hate me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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