I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had sex on a roof
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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