is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
