ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize