So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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