we're blogging at a bar
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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