His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
