A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
