Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize