I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
