Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
