She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he laminated a picture of his dick.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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