gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
