Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
