do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
