got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
