think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
