What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize