I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
