Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
