I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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